You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
