.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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