I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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