Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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