I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We need to get me chipped asap
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
