i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
youre lurking in front of me
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
