The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
