A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i think i have two assholes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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