watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize