It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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