Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
