Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And then the night went full on bisexual.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
