It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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