and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
