Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Hippo gnu deer
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You are a genius and a whore.
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