have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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