susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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