The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
