I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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