You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
