i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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