can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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