how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
