i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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