By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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