would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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