I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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