The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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