Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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