Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
