If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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