Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Nicole vs. Life
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
