youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I am puke
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
