pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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