a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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