Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Randomize
