we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
