1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
