I hope mine doesn't look like that
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
a search helicopter?!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
