just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize