i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
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