I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
