I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
