I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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