Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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