I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize