you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
