I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
