i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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