SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
