Can Purell be used as lube?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Randomize
