It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
