the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize