whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
