I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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