Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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