did you get engaged???
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize