Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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