does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
