yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
