I haven't been this sober since birth.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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