Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
