We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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