how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Is Oprah even human
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
