i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
