i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
