I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
