I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
