Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
