I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
