I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
