its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
