whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
