Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
