hotel room ftw
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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