I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
